If we're lucky, we all come to a time in our life that we have time to reflect, not just react. I guess by all accounts I'm at that time. I'm 53 this year and it really feels right. I think I've wanted to be 53 for several years now. Strange but true.

So, since I'm so old and wise now, it's time to give up my childish things. So today is day ten without a cigerette. Cold turkey. No pills, no patch, no gun. Why? Because I've done all those before and failed.

Today I'm still sad, missing my old friend nicotine. He was by my side for the last 41 years of my life. And yes I did start smoking when I was 12. In fact I remember very clearly the first time I decided to quit. The summer between 6th and 7th grade. I never completely quit before now. Oh, I would cut back. I would sneak and smoke where no one saw me. Of course I was only fooling myself. Everyone knows the smokers.

I miss Nicotine. My drug of choice. I cried last night I still wanted a cigerette so bad. I don't sleep well. I can't concentrate.  On and On the list could go. Weather I needed a boost or calming down, my friend was there.

It is time to say goodbye. I can't do this again, it's to hard. I guess I'll have to be happy with my bike riding. The ten extra pounds I've got to get off. And maybe I'll learn to drink  and like beer.